Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
