I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
