It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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