I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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