Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
