Where is the hickey?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I have feelings that need drinking.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
