pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
