it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
