Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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