dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
