Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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