halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
