OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
