Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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