It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
