when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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