If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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