We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My ass is underappreciated
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
