I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Randomize
