Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
