She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
