Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
