A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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