The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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