turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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