Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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