Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
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