I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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