And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He? As in you personified your dick?
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
