So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They took my balls.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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