It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
