I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
