why didn't you poke me back
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
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