we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
