Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
