I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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