Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is it because I queefed?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
