I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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