What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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