Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
