Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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