You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
