he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
