YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
