the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Randomize
