How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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