You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
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