OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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