What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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