I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
