she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
We have started to decorate penises.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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