New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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